And so I will remember this as the Spring of Wallowing. 

What a funny feeling

It’s like I know how to climb out of this hole. It’s like a ladder is there, just across the span, and all I would need to do would to be face the rigorous climb to reach the top. Nobody is stopping me. In fact, I’m sure some would be glad to see I reached the top, though they may not have known I was at the bottom. 
I need to move, I need to create, I need to learn,  those are the rungs to the top. 

But instead I sit here, just starting at that ladder.  I fear falling before I even try. 
I’ll just give up anyway, I can’t be that good anyway, I’m failing anyway. 

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, I will try to climb tomorrow, today is not the day….tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.  Another day is wasted wallowing. 

Fuck I need a therapist. They could probably pinpoint my issues as I already have, but a stranger’s voice saying them may light a fire again. I always had a distaste for that though, burrowing down into this hole instead, hiding, not wanting to be a bother, heaven forbid I’m seen as dramatic. 

So another day, week, month passes, standing in my own way as I always have. The bottle is full, festering. 

Great, there goes 50% of my friend circle

Bike fixed: $70
New iPod FOR FUCKS SAKE: ~$100
Proper case for phone: ~$20
Juicer: ~$100
New tennis shoes:$50?

Think I need a second job if I’m gonna start getting back in shape/get stuff I’ve needed/wanted 4evs

Tags: poopy






All I want to do is cuddle and sleep. Fuck, just sleep and be a slug forever. 
Hate this feeling. 

I fucking suck at the game. 



Having a high sex drive and yet only wanting to be with someone in another state is fucking frustrating as fuck

Kinda late for New Year sentiments, but:

It’s really kinda strange when I think about who I hung out with this time last year and now and the really strange circumstances that led to those fissures or connections. 
Strange and kind of a bummer; I’m more used to physical location breaking off relationships, not…the relationships. 


waterbending at its finest


waterbending at its finest

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